by Sri Bmal Mohanty
VOL No. 25
Jan. 2003

RELATIONSHIPS IN THE CONTEXT OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH.

"Based on the lectures by Sri Bimal Mohanty"

The worldly relationships such as father, mother, wife, children and friends etc are part of our very existence in this world, and in this society. We thrive within the parameters of such relationships. Our life sustenance, our growing up and even our very identity depends on some relationship or other.

In this back ground or so called reality when we are confronted with the spiritual concept that all these relationships are temporary and have no real basis, obviously it becomes so very difficult to accept.

However our scriptures also say that for the sake of true development and to obtain real peace, it is imperative to rise above the relational attachments. They ask us to review this concept of relations in true perspective and take it only at its worth and not get deluded in mind. They ask us not to get mohagrasta or confused and understand what the interpersonal relationships is all about.

What do they really say?

There are a couple of philosophical interpretations to understand.

Firstly, when we talk of relationship, we are essentially talking of a relationship that is within the boundaries of the present life only. When I say so and so is my son, I first identify myself as 'me' in the present life form , the form as well as the name that I have acquired by virtue of this birth only. Then I identify my son , who happens to be my son again in the present life with the present form and the present name. All our relationships of whatever kind, is defined by the present life only and not beyond.

But me you or any one is not bound by one life form only. All of us existed before and all of us will continue to exist even after this life. As Lord Krishna explains in The Bhagavad Geeta

Na tvebaham jatu nasam na tvam meme janadhipah

Na caiva na bhavisyamah sarve vayam atahparam

It is not that you, me or these kings were ever non-existing. Neither it is true that they will cease to exist in future.

Life after life, form after form, identity after identity shall continue till we reach the ultimate goal of being one with the Paramatma. In every life we have different parents, different children, different friends and everything different including form, name and environment.

So when we say my mother, which mother are we talking about? - the mother in this life or the mother two lives earlier or which I shall have three lives later? To day who ever is my brother will not be my brother again for may be thousands of lives or never at all. All the relationships are because of the circumstances that this present life has brought us together. It is so temporary and so shortlived. It may not appear shortlived if we limit our sense of time to our own life span. But the moment we reflect upon the fact that in a span of many thousand lives, one life span is only a fleeting moment one can imagine how shorlived all our relations are. We are thrown together for a split second and then depart never to meet again.

Yet all our emotional outbursts are centered around that fleeting second. You must have seen a passing whirl wind sucking into it many dry leaves and making them move helter skelter. Two dry leaves suddenly come together, touch each other and then torn apart by the wind moving in different directions. What chance these two leaves have of coming together again?

Same is the case with all our relationships. The bodies that we have are of as little significance as the two dry leaves coming together. Yet we get so deeply moved by these associations and are totally dictated by these emotions.

The other philosophical interpretation is a little more profound. Our true identity is not our bodies, or names. As we have discussed earlier, there is only one existence and that is the supreme self or the Brahman. The individual Jivas or creations like you and me have the same source and are not different from this Supreme self. We are all one and not removed from that single source. That is our real self and our true identity. It is something similar to the actor playing different roles - double or multiple roles,- in a dramatic performance on a stage. The true identity of the performer remains unchanged, yet he or she becomes different depending upon what is being projected before the audience. These projections last only as long as the play lasts and vanish as soon as the play is over. Only the permanent identity remains.

Then the question may be asked- if all these are transient and make belief what is the purpose of such relations and associations? Why do we have to play these roles of father, mother and children? What is the gain out of this drama?

This is a very practical question. There has to be a purpose behind all this- a divine purpose. Since nothing in this creation is without a purpose and that too for a good cause, there has to be an inner meaning of life dictated by our relationships with each other.

The answer to this question is derived when we think of the crucial three points such as, our ultimate goal, the very purpose of our life and The Lord's hand in assisting us to fulfill that purpose.

We have discussed at length in the past as to what is the final goal of every one. The union with Parambrahman, the Satchidananada which is the truth, its realisation and the ensuing bliss is our ultimate journey's end. We are all Brahman and shall return to finally lose our identity with the Brahman.